No One is Free of the Past — But You Can Be Free of Its Grip

No one walks through life unscarred.

We all carry stories — not just the proud milestones and moments of joy, but also the quieter, sometimes invisible weight of hurt, disappointment, and failure. In fact, it is these successes and failures that make up our story…who we are.

Whether we consciously remember them or not, those burdens often began early. Studies indicate that the majority of our beliefs and behaviors are formed before the age of seven. Many of these come from the beliefs, habits and social behavior of our parents. In a way, we see the world through the eyes and behavior of our parents.

In childhood, we were vulnerable. Small bodies, tender hearts, and unformed minds doing their best to make sense of a big world. We see the way they act and that becomes our guide to behavior.

I was on a flight recently and across the aisle was a family with mom, dad, and a daughter probably about four years old. About an hour into the flight, the parents were watching a movie or something and the little girl asked for a snack.

The father looking annoyed looked up from his laptop and firmly told her she was going to have to wait. This didn’t sit well with the little girl and she very clearly uttered a very foul word to express her displeasure.

I must have let a little smile of amusement slip because both parents turned beet red and apologized for her language saying they had no idea where she learned those words. I graciously explained that I have two daughters and that I understood all to well. The little girl got what she wanted and smiled broadly knowing she had won.

What I didn’t tell them is that I also knew all to well where she probably learned both the words and the behavior. There reaction to her was noticeably annoyed but restrained. My guess is that had they not been in public, their annoyance would have been punctuated by the very words she used. It was a lesson that I learned far too late. Then they reenforced the behavior by giving her what she wanted to quiet her down…another lesson we parents learn too late.

Even the most loving homes can't shield us from everything, and sometimes they are the very thing we need to be shielded from. A scolding tone, a moment of neglect, a broken promise, an unexplained loss — these moments may seem minor in hindsight, but for a child without the tools to process or understand, they can leave lasting impressions.

Then there are the bigger behavioral lessons. Kids notice the arguments; they sense the negative energy. A child’s formative brain works primarily in a theta brainwave state until they are about seven years old. They are very intuitive and react more to the energy they feel than the reality they see.

These are what we call traumas — not always the headline-making kind, but the personal, quiet disruptions that get tucked away and shape us all the same. They are the things we see and feel from the people we are around the most, the people we are supposed to be able to trust the most.

Most of us never go back to tend to those wounds. The truth is that most of us don’t even know how we became the person we are or how our thoughts, behaviors and beliefs formed. Instead, we adapt. We build coping mechanisms. We learn to distract, deflect, control, perform, overachieve, or withdraw. These strategies serve a purpose. They help us get by. But they don’t heal us.

At the root of so much adult struggle — especially the modern epidemic of anxiety — is that unresolved internal chaos. A nervous system stuck in high alert. A mind that doesn’t feel safe. A subconscious still echoing the fears of a younger self.

We live in a perpetual state of fight or flight, the mind’s natural protective mechanism. The problem is that fight/flight is meant to be transitory. The problem presents itself; the problem is solved, life goes back to normal. We live in a world of constant “threats” now and if left unresolved, in a constant state of flight or flight.

This is where transformation can begin — not with willpower or “positive thinking,” but with insight. With the right tools, we can uncover those subconscious constraints, release outdated patterns, and reconnect to a deep, unshakable peace.

Learning what these “triggers” are, processing them so they no longer drive behavior and teaching the brain a better way to deal with trauma, failure and anxiety creates lasting change.  We don’t just manage symptoms — we explore and resolve the source. Because true peace isn’t about avoidance or distraction. It’s about liberation. And freedom is just an insight away.

If you’ve been carrying the invisible weight of your past, know this: you are not broken. You are not alone. And you are capable of rewriting your story. You can put the past behind, all of it. Even the parts that you are not consciously aware of and that might be the driving force behind

Join us at Hidden Pathways Hypnosis — and take the first step toward freedom from anxiety. Your peace is waiting.